We all know the fantasy about our other half, the person we're destined to marry and the endless love that will sweep us away. In the fairy tale, every day after the wedding is summed up the same: And so they lived happily ever after. Yet ask anyone who has woken up after the honeymoon to find Prince Charming's socks on the floor, and she'll tell you a far different story: Daily life has a way of usurping the magic--unless we learn how to make more. Touching, perceptive, and often hilarious, EVERY DAY I LOVE YOU MORE (JUST NOT TODAY) is a guide to making love last. It celebrates the times that make married hearts soar and helps cushion the fall on those inevitable days when your prince looks a little bit froggy, like the Christmas he gives you business cards or the days he leaves his breakfast dishes on the table and his helpfulness at the office. The truth is that while romance often leads to marriage, marriage can be the death of romance. But marriage can also provide the laughter that breaks through the tears, the tenderness that softens the stressful days, and the hope that transcends the years. For amid the little disasters of ev

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.

-- Albert Einstein

It was sixteen years ago tonight, January 29, 1985, when the big, bearded man in the dirty beige parka picked me up for our first-ever date. It was a cold Tuesday evening, although we pretended it was Saturday, a little trick we perfected during the years I worked weekdays and he worked nights and weekends. On that first night in New York, we ate Indian food at a hole-in-the-wall, then walked around the city, stopping for drinks every now and then to thaw out. Mostly, we talked -- about life, work, ourselves -- and we kept right on talking until the buses had stopped running and I had to take a cab home. Just before we said good night, we walked down a side street, past a bakery. The place was closed, but the display window was all lit up, and we paused to check out the fancy, overpriced goodies. That's when we saw it, on top of a linzer torte: the fattest mouse in Manhattan trapped inside the window, happily gorging away. The last of our first-date nervousness melted away as we stood there and laughed like hyenas. We still do, whenever one of us brings it up. It was an arresting sight, incongruous and rare, not unlike finding love on a side street at two in the morning in a city of eight million souls.

We've been celebrating that cold winter's night ever since, with candlelit dinners and long, moonlit walks, smarmy cards and champagne and tandoori, along with the occasional marzipan mouse. And while we also observe our wedding anniversary with similarly romantic gestures, I think we look forward to this even more. Because, unlike our wedding day, a day we orchestrated, planned, and rehearsed to the letter, January 29 simply happened, due to forces beyond our control. And as it unfolded, on a cold Tuesday night, the ordinary became extraordinary: the wondrous, mysterious, marvelous -- a miracle, in other words.

If you think you have yet to experience a miracle, perhaps it's time to rethink what that means. The miracle that brought you and your soul mate together is the best place I know to start. Once a year, why not give it a night all its own? To look back in wonder. To give fate its due. To lift your glass to the forces that joined you.

Copyright © 2001 by Nancy Shulins

 

With the wry, funny spirit of Anna Quindlen and Erma Bombeck and the poignancy and warmth of Sarah Ban Breathnach's Simple Abundance, Every I Day I Love You More (Just Not Today) offers inspirational, realistic essays from the front lines of marriage.

"A sentimental re-education, this should be required reading for every 15-year-old-girl who dreamily doodles 'Mrs.' all over her algebra notebook--and for every 35-year-old woman trying to remember why she ever did."

 

"Nancy Shulins writes with heart and wisdom about the funny moments in our everyday lives, about realistic struggles and romantic ideals; her book is a testament to the stuff that endures."

 

"Nancy Shulins is the angel of marriage, reminding the rest of us to be just a bit easier on ourselves and our mates. We can be grateful to her for celebrating the joys and challenges of lasting love with such grace and humor. Here is a book you can read in an hour, containing enough relationship wisdom to last a lifetime."

 

"A fresh and original voice. Shulins speaks with a clear and wonderful honesty that will make you smile--and sometimes cry."

 

Nancy Shulins, a Pulitzer Prize nominee and recipient of numerous journalism awards, is a former Associated Press Special Correspondent.

 

Every Day I Love You More (Just Not Today) by Nancy Shulins
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